A STRANGER IN A STRANGE LAND
I had this rare privilege of being able to pursue in my adult life, what had been my childhood dream.
Andrew Wiles
FAMILIES
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Family Schmitz--California
July 3, 2012 and July 15, 2012
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LEVEL I
It is difficult to revisit my life as a child. I can’t really say that it was any more difficult than most people’s childhoods, but my education as a teacher has shown me that it has been perceived by me as more intense given Dabrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration.
Dabrowski sees psychological tension and anxiety as necessary for growth. This contrasts with many theories that see any discomfort as destructive. In fact, Dabrowski sees these “disintegrative” processes as “positive.” If people do not go through these stages they may be stuck in the beginning stages of development for some time.
Currently, there is not only this evidence but also considerable evidence that creative, gifted children are more sensitive to the world around them. I come from a very practical, German, Goldwater-Republican household where this type of squishy stuff was not only frowned upon but was seen as somewhat communist.
I was an advanced child that was academically ready, per the testing of that era, for Kindergarten at age three. My parents did not want to rush me and so I began at four. Current research would suggest that the age of three would have been better since grade skipping is seen as most beneficial when there is early admittance to Kindergarten, but we all operate on what we know and when we know it. (Rogers & Kimpston, 1992)
My initial years in school were rough. Like many gifted children I was bullied and mistreated by classmates and teachers. I was too quiet, or too smart, or too something where I made others uncomfortable. My situation was exacerbated by the fact that I was a young woman on the cusp of a changing culture that was clamoring for women’s rights. I didn’t know that the world around me was changing because my home life had more in common with the Eisenhower years than the Woodstock generation.
Dr. Linda Silverman describes the gifted children she has counseled and studied, thusly, “They didn’t compare themselves with their classmates. They compared their knowledge with all there was to know.” (Silverman, 2009) This was the case with me as a learner and many gifted children who are strangers in a strange land.
I struggled through my elementary school years. I lobbied my parents for several years to transfer me to a new school that was less interested in breaking a child’s spirit and was more interested in education. Finally, I was released in the middle of fourth grade.
I began my career as a public school student enamored of the rigorous Math and Reading that Mr. Johnson assigned. I remember the difficulty of my daily work and how fun it was to have a male teacher. I stayed in that school until 7th grade when it became time to move to Junior High School.
In the late 1970’s the Los Angeles area was rocked by the prospect of school busing. My parents were vehemently opposed to what they saw as interference by a disengaged government body (Los Angeles Unified School District) on their decision making power as parents. It was decided that I would go back to private school. Many private schools sprung up in and around the Los Angeles area during this time. It was at mine that I met Mrs. Krieger.
Mrs. Krieger was a teacher with one Phd. and was working on another in Biology. I had always loved Science and Math and was relieved to meet a kindred spirit. Mrs. Krieger was my lifesaver in a sea of mediocrity and I relished every experiment and assignment she gave me.
Like many of the quickly cobbled schools in the L.A. area the one that I was attending folded mid-year due to mismanagement. Mrs. Krieger took some of her students with her and so I finished my year being homeschooled. Mrs. Krieger took me under her wing and fought with the public school bureaucracy to have me skipped so that I would begin the next year in 9th grade.
Unfortunately, this did not sit well with my local Junior High School. The cut-off grade for busing was 8th grade. They told me that I could go into a gifted program as an 8th grader and possibly be bused or I could go to private school again. My family opted for yet another private school and put me in 9th grade. Unfortunately, I was doing the same work I had completed with Mrs. Krieger. Repeating already mastered work is the bain of a gifted child’s experience. Again, research is conclusive that grade telescoping and curriculum compacting suit the needs of the gifted child more readily. (Rogers & Kimpston, 1992; Colangelo, Assouline, & Gross, 2004)
LEVEL II
By the end of ninth grade I was completely disengaged with school. I was repeating the same material over and over, I was disinterested in the work, research was non existent, and I was ready to quit. I limped through 10th grade, back in public school, with multiple “F’s” and waited until I was to be old enough to drop out. Towards the end of 10th grade my parents found out about School-Within-A-School at my local high school. The program was run by Tyra Seymour and saved me from dropping out of high school. I realized that I wanted and maybe could go to college. It was because of the SWAS program that I was able to do so.
The SWAS program was based on amplified student responsibility. If you messed up you were out. Each student was able to pick from multiple courses that were beyond the usual public school content. It was then that I began dual enrollment and was able to take courses at my local community college.
I graduated with horrible Scholastic Aptitude Test scores, a mediocre GPA, and the derision of the mainstream school counselor who had told me I would never go to college and should consider trade school. I graduated, and began college at 16. I was finally free to think, to explore, to consider, to ponder, to write, to learn, and to be.
Many years later I am a college graduate, I successfully completed a rigorous teacher-training program, and am in graduate school. I now have the priviledge of watching my own children learn, grow, and struggle as gifted learners. They have helped and encouraged me tremendously in my continuing journey.
I have had the opportunity to struggle through many periods of disintegration and struggle with it now, but I’m still here, and still learning.